Mom, It’s Okay To Be A Little Selfish.

I’m a year in, over 100 pounds lost, and feeling great. I’ve gotten so much positive response and encouragement, really it’s great. I’ve had a lot of support and hardly any negativity, but there is one question that’s been getting harder and harder to answer. This question has become more about defending myself than simply responding. When people ask, I know they mean no harm, but really if they stopped and thought about it they would realize how awkward their question really is.

How do you make time to go to the gym?

Sounds simple enough. That question alone is perfectly fine. My issue with the question is before I can even answer they usually say, ” between work, time with my husband, and time with my kids I just can’t make time.”

So here I am defending myself from the assumption that I’m selfish. So I then explain, I go to the gym during the day when my daughter is at school, because I work lots of 2nd shifts and my 2 days off normally fall within the work week. On weekends I take my daughter to the gym with me. And on the days I work while she’s at school I take her with me to the gym.

I know there is no negativity intended. It just makes me feel like I have to defend my choice to be healthy and in my opinion no one should have to sacrifice being healthy for making everyone else happy.

Here is the question I would love to ask people, “If you are so unhappy with yourself and your weight, how are you able to be truly happy with everything else in life?” People will sit and complain about how they should lose weight or how they should go to the gym, but they won’t make the hard decision to make time to do it. I can just hear the response, “Wow Lindsay that’s really easy for you to say.” Yes it is easy, because I did it myself. I had to stop, admit that I was unhappy, and make time for myself to get healthy for not only myself but my child. It’s not selfish, not at all.

Will my daughter remember the hour mommy took to go to the gym, or will she remember mommy being able to run and play for hours rather that sitting on the couch? Will my daughter remember the hour mommy took to meal prep or will she remember mommy being able to swing at the park because she can finally fit in the swing? I know taking my daughter to the mall to shop for clothes and being happy with myself is better than dreading the mall and never being able to find anything that fits and having my daughter see the disappointment and embarrassment on mommy’s face.

Unfortunately many will only get mad at the bluntness of this post, when really I wish they would take a look at their own life and not be afraid to take a little time for them so that they can be healthy and happy. You have to be a little selfish. Taking time for yourself is a must, it really isn’t an option. Ask yourself this: If you aren’t happy with yourself, how can you be truly happy with life? And when you try to find an ‘excuse’ as to why you can’t make time, think about this: How can you use your children and spouse as your excuse? Aren’t they the things that make you the happiest? How can the things that make you happy, be the things that are holding you back from being happy? Answer, they aren’t. You are holding yourself back, not them. Your children and your husband will be happy and supportive. They will benefit from your success and happiness. When you are happy with yourself, you will be happier in all aspects of life.

There I said it. Hate me, or take my advice and change your life.

Include your husband or wife in your journey. If they love you, they will support you being a little selfish. 🙂 Don’t forget to include the kiddos too! I promise if you make time for yourself, your life will be even better than it already is. The people that make you happy now, will be even happier, and you will be too.


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