Blogmas Day 13: Happy Friday the 13th!

Going into today I had zero idea what I wanted to write. So I’ll just start typing. Here we go…

What can I do with the number 13? First thing I think of is a bakers dozen, 13 cupcakes, cookies, or something better than what I can make. I could list my 13 favorite beauty products, my 13 favorite foods, or 13 things I use in a day. What about 13 lies I tell myself daily…

1. I need to go to the gym but I don’t have time. This is the ultimate lie. Truth: I do have time, I just haven’t made myself a priority lately. There’s always an excuse.

2. I’m tired. Another lie. I slept plenty last night. There are people who get far less sleep, have way more going on, and heck some don’t even have a bed let alone a bed to sleep in. Truth: I have no motivation and my mind over it. I feel like “I’m tired” is just what I say when I don’t really know what to say about my lack of motivation. It’s kind of the catch-all.

3. I’m fat. Truth: I’m unhealthy. There is no way around it. I get winded going up and down the stairs and I can’t bend over without sighing. I might not be as ‘fat’ as I once was but I’m still unhealthy. Time to get out the gym clothes…

4. I’m bored. Truth: There are tons of things I could do, but I’m not motivated enough to get off my ass and do them. Sad part is, I’ll be knee deep in house work and feel bored. My mind knows there’s more that could be done…

5. I’m not enough. Truth: I am enough BUT I know I could be more. When you are going through the motions and doing what you’re ‘supposed’ to be doing it’s easy to let the self doubt slip in. I really hate seeing the mom posts about ‘I am enough.’ Sure we doing what we are supposed to be doing but are we doing it the best we can be doing it? Isn’t there always room for improvement. I guess I’m not one who easily settles into something. I always want more for me, my life, my family.

6. I’m broke. Truth: I am broke, so not really a lie, but maybe a half truth! My bank account might be light but I have a roof over my head, food on the table, and family that loves me. It will get better.

7. He’s too good for me. Truth: He wouldn’t be with me if he didn’t love me. If you couldn’t tell I’m a huge self doubter. If something or someone is going well in my life, I pick it apart until it’s not longer good. I’ve come a LONG way in fixing this. I’m always catching myself letting this unwanted/unloved feeling set in and I have to move quick to stop it. I go grab an extra hug, or flat out say what I’m thinking. A little reassurance can go a long way, much better than bottling it up and unloading later…

8. I’m stuck. Truth; I’m not stuck, I’m just bored. My anxiety likes to tell me I’m trapped, or stuck in a certain situation. No one is in my way, I get in my own way plenty. That self sabotage is real. Don’t let all the crappy things you think about yourself get in the way of anything.

9. No one likes me. Truth: Not everyone likes me, but many do. Another form of self sabotage at work. In my mind I’ve built up such a disliking for myself, why would anyone else want to like me? Again, self sabotage is real.

10. I’m a bad mom. Truth: I’m a great mom. I just need to stay off Instagram and quit comparing myself to those fakes. I know there are some fantastic moms on there but you really have to dig deep and scroll past way too many fakes. Does being ‘fake’ make you a bad mom, no. I just wish people would share the good with the bad. We don’t need to be reminded that you had time to get your nails done, do your makeup, and take care of baby. Some of us are rocking 3 day hair, chewed nails, and our babies are just as cute and loved.

11. I’m happy. Truth: I’m happy, but not all the time. I’m happy with my friends, family, and job, but I’d change some things. A better vehicle. A slightly bigger house. A better work schedule. All of these things would be amazing, but they aren’t going to make or break my happiness. I need to allow myself to be unhappy once in a while and not feel guilty about it. We all want to do better, its normal. I can be content and happy with my life but still want more. Yes I have what I need, but its not a crime to want better. Do I want a luxury bag and manicured nails, no. The material stuff means very little to me. I want a reliable vehicle to get myself and my family where we need to go. I want to find our forever home. A modest, slightly larger home to stay in that actually feels like home.

12. I can’t do it. Truth: I can. There have been SO MANY times in my life where I’ve thought, this is it, I’ll never come back from this. This is the moment that defines me. And each time I’ve moved past it. ” This too shall pass.” The truest statement I’ve ever heard. I won’t say it’s always easy, but with time, work, and some tears I’ve gotten past some of the worst times in my life.

13. Your blog stinks and no one reads it. Truth: I don’t care! I enjoy blogging regardless of ho many readers I have. I’m not one to openly share my feelings easily. This is my outlet. My place to share the things I love, my hobbies, my interest, and anything I need to express. If you’re reading this, thank you. Thank you for taking your time to read my ramblings, view my less than great makeup looks, possibly try my recipes, and coming back for more.

I’ll end it with a kitten in a tree, some goofy girls, and Eleanor’s new shades.

-Lindsay

 

 

 

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