Thankfully I haven’t seen the 300’s on the scale for quite a few years but in 2016 I was there. Actually I was over 300, quickly approaching the 330’s…
I was a first time mom, but way past the ‘baby weight’ excuse. I had an active 6 year old, a full time job, and two part time jobs. I was miserable and completely unhealthy. I was stuck in a rut of excuse after excuse of why I couldn’t lose weight.
Thankfully I found my way out. I’m not at my lowest weight but I’m closer to it than my highest by a long shot. This post isn’t about waving goodbye to 300 lbs, it’s about how I got there. The honest version of how I got there.
I’ve always had an unhealthy relationship with food. I did my best to hide it from the people around me. Sure I would eat in front of people, but they never saw the entire day of eating. They didn’t see the gas station stops, the fast food stops, the late night binge, or the meal after the meal. They didn’t see me polish off an entire bag of chips and a package of Oreos because I had a bad day at work. They didn’t see me eat the entire frozen pizza. Bags of food wrappers in the trunk, stops at public trash cans, and burying the packages in the bottom of the trash can at home were all common occurrences.
I’ve never really shared what I was eating back then. I’ve kept my ‘trigger’ to myself for the most part. Sure, I’ve shared some on here, but not really to the people in my life. Who wants to admit that every time they get in the car the first thought it where can I stop to get food? Who wants to tell their partner before bed their already thinking about what they’re going to have for breakfast? My entire day used to be based on my next meal. Thankfully I’ve found ways to get past that, for the most part, but I still have days where I struggle. I still have days where it’s easier to give in.
Let’s get to the point. I feel like the more I open up about my struggles and triggers, the easier it is for me to get past them. It’s so much harder dealing with things on my own, because I’m my own worst enemy. When you don’t like your body or anything about yourself (dramatic, I know), it’s easier to allow yourself to do harm to yourself. Over eating, not staying active, and being unhealthy are easier. Why should you take care of a person/body you hate?
Getting it out in the open, seeing it with my eyes rather that just in my mind really helps. So let’s take a look at a normal day of eating for me when I was over 300 lbs.
Steak Egg & Cheese Bagel
Egg & Cheese Biscuit
Large Diet Pepsi
1,220 Calories/ 109g Carbs/ 65g Fat/ 47g Protein
This is basically an entire days worth of calories for someone trying to lose weight. Might leave 200-300 calories for lunch and dinner.
Cheesy Bean & Rice Burrito
Hard Shell Taco
Large Diet Pepsi
1,460 Calories/ 161g Carbs/ 64g Fat/ 60g Protein
Again, another meal that could count for an entire day. So here I am 2 days worth of calories in just two meals.
Ten Piece Nugget
Large Diet Coke
1,650 Calories/ 153g Carbs/ 82g Fat/ 65g Fat
That’s right, McDonald’s twice in one day was normal for me. Mainly on my days off…
The final count.
4,330 Calories/ 423g Carbs/ 211g Fat/ 172g Protein
Three days worth of calories in ONE day. I would deny almost all of this food, but the worst part, sometimes there were ‘snacks’ between this. Extra diet drinks, and some water splashed in there to make me feel better…
No amount of activity can over-come this diet. No amount of excuses can make this sound reasonable. When I’m do slip up and order a single McChicken, I think back to this. I’ve come really far. I can go weeks/ months without fast food. I’ve been pop free for two months now. I was pop free for two years and plan to surpass that. I’ve broken the bad habits and formed a better relationship with food. There are still struggles, but I know how to get past them.
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